Thursday, January 24, 2008

Trying too much in one day

Do you ever have one/or many of those days where you get the energy to do what you want and then there is just too much to do?? Today was one of those days. I had so many things I wanted to get done and I did get a lot done, but in my mind had a lot more I wanted to do. We got school completed, the house straightened, laundry, laundry, laundry, and got it put away pretty well, cleaned Cullen's room out and threw out a garbage bag of stuff and got over another garbage bag of clothes to give away. He now can store his "stuff" away nicely and I tried to find a place for most. I also got dinner ready for all of us and a package to send off to Tierra. I then could not find her address. Now how messed up is that to lose her address. I tried to call her and she was not at home. I really gave my self grief over losing her address. I am sure it is here somewhere but b/c of my disorganization I thought it would be easier to call and ask. I am going to store it in the computer now....then it cannot walk away. Is that sad???

Clara is growing so quickly. I just weighed her while ago and if it is right she is at around 14 lbs!!! She has more than doubled her weight of 6 lbs 14 oz. Geeez!!! She is absolutely the light of my life and the rest of the family's as well. The boys are just in love and Clay is just head over hills!!! I ordered some hair products and they finally came in for her. I got Carol's Daughter for her. So far I am really pleased but I like the Tui scent better than some of the other stuff I got. I bought the Saturday Morning set. It has a bit of everything in it. Her hair is just growing away!!! I am trying to get prepared to care for it. I think her hair texture is chaning sooner rather than later. I am going to try and add a clip of her talking to me.

Some days are tough to get over mourning for Tierra!! I got a package ready to send off to her and I just have this guilt that really gets to me. There is so much in me that wants her to be enjoying every breath she takes right along with me; every sound, cry, smile, coo, every extra ounce she puts on. I have read this is common in adoptive mothers but I guess I did not expect to feel this way sometimes. I know God has a plan and there is no doubt in my mind Clara is a HUGE part of this family and growing it stronger every day, but I cannot help but grieve for Tierra's loss. I wonder if I am checking in enough with them and then when I do I wonder if I am bothering her. I miss them dearly.....

On a lighter note, school is just really going well with the kids. I am amazed at what they are learning. It is a fantastic privilege to watch my boys learn about plant and animal cells, start enjoy reading, learning to read, and excel!! They are really growing into fantastic young men and I look forward to every day in seeing who God is molding them into being. I cannot wait for Clara to be soaking it all up too....wait a minute...she is soaking up every little thing. She watches EVERYTHING!!! She could tell you every bump in the ceiling, every window, loves looking at the dogs when they come up to her and say Hi. She almost every time the boys approach her. It is truly amazing to watch!! I would never have dreamed God could make my life so rich!!!

Sunday, January 20, 2008

New Clara placement visit

Well, I tried to save some money and take some baby photos myself. I like the pics but they are definitely not professional quality, or "Michelle" quality as she has taken our family pictures. She is absolutely wonderful!! Her website is Her business name is Picture This Creative Photography by Michele Jones.

I really love photography and would love to some day be able to take "professional" quality pictures and have some realy creativity behind it. I do have to admit with Clara it is really impossible to take a bad picture...if I say so myself. I just don't have all the equipment I would like to have or the imagination/creativity. Hopefully my eye and knowledge will grow and I can get better and better. I am going to try practicing a LOT!

We had our first out of 2 post placement visits for finalizing our adoption of Clara. It went well and I just love talking about her and how things are going. She is doing absolutely wonderul. She is a true joy and an even bigger blessing than we could have ever dreamed. We all love her so much!!! I am so grateful for adoption!! It is a blessing and I truly admire Tierra every time I look at Clara's face. How can I ever thank her enough!!! I really don't think she will ever know what she has done for our family and what a huge part in every day of our lives she plays a role in. I miss them and my heart hurts for her many times a day. I continue to pray for them and will continuously and ALWAYS!! I look forward to the day we can all get together again and rejoice again in the option of adoption!!!

Thursday, January 10, 2008

Playing Catch up...

I have been trying to post forever and just never finished it...We had a great weekend. Cindy and Donna gave me a wonderful baby shower to celebrate Clara being with us. It turned out absolutely wonderful!! My good friend, Melynda, and her dog, Darby, came in too and was able to be at the baby shower and spend the night and celebrate Cullen's 8th birthday party with us. It was truly wonderful to get to spend some time with her. It had been 3 years or so.

Last night we were able to go to dinner with my grandmother, uncle, his 2 girls, and his new granddaughter, and my parents. It was nice to get to meet Sara Marie . She is just 1 week younger than Clara at 6 weeks old. It was nice getting to meet her. We will not see her often as Melissa lives farther away. She is also legally blind so it makes it tough for her to just pop in for a visit. We were very pleased and honored to have met her. I look forward to watching Clara and Sara grow up together.

Wednesday, January 2, 2008

Clara talking and watching toy....then getting fussy

Here is a little clip of Clara babbling and watching a toy. She then gets tired of it and wants to be held. She is very much like De and wants to be held all the time which is fine by me. =D

New Batteries for the swing and figuring out the new camera!!

I saw a fellow poster's video( )of her newly adopted daughter and forgot that my new camera also took video. I gave it a try and it is posted below. I think it did pretty good. I cannot believe a camera has microphone. I feel like I am slowly but surely falling behind in the digital age.

I figured Clara did not like the swing. We had tried it numerous times and she just did not like it and would not hang out very long in it at all. The swing was graciously donated by Tommy and Becky whom got it from KK and it was barely working. Well....I thought about it and figured the batteries could be a bit old. I changed out the batteries and now the thing plays louder music and moves like a roller coaster. =D Now, Clara decided she likes it and passed out completely in it. Another roller coaster rider in the making.

Cullen, like myself, did not realize you could take video with the new camera and it is very apparent in the video....Ha Ha!

We started school back today after a LOOOOONG break. It has been a tough day and is still not over. It has not been without some stubborness but this too shall pass. It will be a long week, hence, starting midweek instead of subjecting myself to a full week. Now I know why schools start midweek. I always wondered that before. No more do I wonder. It is just tough getting back in routine, especially since routine is so tough in this household anyway. I will start trying to post more frequently.....I stress try!! I am trying really hard to get Clara smiling but she is holding out on me. She will smile a lot and I get the camera and she just clams up. It is really like she is doing it intentionally. Here is a semi-smile shot that I took recently. It is a bit blurry. She is just the cutest baby ever!!